An online station this week, in celebration of National Radio Day in the US.

And it’s one of the simplest, strangely compelling, and beautifully random stations you’ll ever hear.

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

Youarelistening.to takes you to a cleanly-designed page where ambient music tracks from Soundcloud are mixed with live police feeds from the American city of your choice. LA is the default, but cities offered include New York, Chicago, Baltimore, San Francisco and Portland.

The site also identifies the specific police feed. This one is ‘LAPD Citywide Dispatch and Hotshots/Code 3’.

It’s impossible to fully transcribe, as incidents come and go, spoken of in the language of the cop. This is the soundtrack to the city’s dark underbelly, a sense of eavesdropping on a charged conversation. But alongside the music, it’s strangely chilled and relaxing to listen-in on. I’ve tried to capture key phrases that, pieced together like a jigsaw, slowly hint at the picture.

WHO  Presenterless, unless you count the anonymous army of LA’s finest.

WHAT  youarelistening.to – Los Angeles feed.

WHEN  21 August 2012

2055  L’amante/If Only Sunrise Could Arrive.

Code 3 on incident 544.

Desciptions of various suspects. A domestic dispute.

Street names: Eldorado, Van Nuys.

Vehicle taken.

Latino male carrying a tan backpack.

Code 6.

Control? What time did my call come out?

More suspects, in a hotel lobby and going into the subway.

6 … 14.

2100 Mangkind/Seasonal Rotations Remix

Specify your location.

ETA for the P Unit?

Switch to channel 22.

Have the possible suspect in custody.

2Z21 at the Oasis Hotel

1930 West 1st Street standing at Gray Donuts

Male, 63, White/Grey suffering mental illness

There’s a description of a heavily pregnant woman who’s taken an unknown number of pills.

2104 Gentleforce/Naoshima

White male, 54 suffering from liver failure and disorientation.

A new voice asks, “Conscious and breathing?”.

Charles. Paul. Laura. 74.

Possible ADW suspect.

Can I get a suspect description for the ADW suspect?

4 – 63.

Code 6 at that location.

2110 Music for Seasonal Allergy Relief Pt 1

Beeps.

Suspect 555 last seen running towards park at Hodale 225.

Black jacket, hood, additional black jacket carrying a rifle.

22 responding after short delay.

Suspect in custody.

Shoplift Suspect. 8801 Western Avenue Superior Market

Suspect on corner of 7th and Maple in front of burger stand. Unit walking over.

Units at location please respond. Suspect becoming violent.

SUMMARY

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

2ZY has been to the Edinburgh Fringe this week. So what better time to sample Forth One’s breakfast offer, Boogie in the Morning?

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

Boogie in the Morning Cab

WHO  Boogie in the Morning, with Andrew ‘Boogie’ Bouglas, ‘Dingo’ Dave Konov (guess where he’s from) and Arlene Stuart

WHAT  Forth One

WHEN  7 August 2012

0839 Good bit re the Olympics. “Remember when there used to be other stuff on the telly?”, starts Boogie. Talks about how well the  BBC is doing before launching into what to look out for today. Chris Hoy in the Keirin. What’s that? It’s a bike thing! Victoria Pendleton in the Sprint. Laura Trott in Omnium. It’s like a sprinting eliminator … Then Dingo describes Keirin, suspiciously well. “Are you reading that?” asks Arlene. “No, Not reading that off Google at all …,” he answers.

Mention the favourites to win Triathlon and Dressage. Boogie pronounces it wrong – dressidge – just to wind up Arlene, who eats the bait. They talk about the 71 year old Chinese competitor. That’s controlling the horse, while trying to hide it. “Why hide it?”, asks the Aussie, playing up to his wise guy casting.

“Did anyone else watch the women’s shot putt?” continues Boogie, who seems to set up all the lines for Dave. “It was the women, right?” says dingo. “Clean palm, dirty chin.” says Boog. Dave again: “They know how to breed ’em strong in Belarus.” But hey. “She has a gold, we have nae,” and straight into …

0842 Pink/Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

0845 BA, time and date check, forward promote Sam Jackson “filling in for” Grant Stott. “Well done to Scott Brash in Borders. Won Olympic Gold for Equestrian team. One of his mates has just been on phone.” Arlene clearly watched it, and adds some good colour. Another gag set-up from Dingo. ” You seen the size of those fences?”. “Yeah. That’s the point.” says Boogie.

0846 ADS: RBS mobile phone app, “that keeps your life flowing as smoothly s the River Forth,” Camereon Toll Shopping Centre, Persil’s REALLY annoying kids band.
ID: Across Edinburgh, the Lothians and Fife, this is Forth One
AD: Money supermarket (Whoever decides a Brian Blessed VO is ever anything other than wrong?)

TRAVEL: Strong localness: Forth Bridge, M9, Bypass and M8, Dalkeith Road, Blackhall, Craigleith, Blackford Avenue in the Southside. Esselemont Road, all mentioned. Tagged “With Western Alfa Romeo”. ID: Forth One segues neatly into ..

0850 James Blunt/Wise Men

0852 Back anno. So “UHI, Arlene, what does that mean?” asks Boogie. “University of the Highlands and Islands! Easy!” says Dingo, and he’s right. Googled it. “Scotland’s newest Uni is going places and Forth 1 blah blah blah” as Boogie handbrake turns into a sponsor read. “Get advice and information from the Uni’s mobile campus, near the Omni centre today.” Forth 1’s street team are giving away iPads. I heart UHI with Forth One. “Where is it? Inverness?” the gang wonder. “It’s based all over the place,” says Boogie. “I heart UHI LOL ROFL,” says Boogie. “Google UHI” says Boog and let us know after …

0854 Jessie J/Price Tag

0857 So Arlene has googled UHI. And yeah, it’s based all over. “Learning centres over 13 colleges.” Some banter over whether the plural of campus is campuses or campi.

Boogie forward promotes. “Coming up, how you can take part in a penalty shoot out, head to head with Dingo.”

ADS: Peoples Postcode Lottery Event at National Gallery, Post Office Travel Money (which uses the wonderful line ‘in branch.’ Like anyone says that in real life. Then an ad for the new Alfa Julietta. Find your local dealer at alfa.co.uk. Think if I was sponsoring the travel, I’d want that pointer to be to my dealership? And there’s a new bin collection calendar is coming soon, says city of Edinburgh council.

SUMMARY

There’s definite ease in  the banter here, as you’d expect for an established team. For a show that appears to be an ensemble, the branding could be simpler. The show is simply Boogie in the Morning; the taxi ad features Boogie and Arlene; but Dingo gets the lion’s share of the punchlines!

Some really nice Olympics stuff, really catching the mood of the morning after the week’s gold rush. They chased the end of both James Blunt and Jessie J, talking well before the natural end. Maybe the clock needs some work? But the UHI promo read had a great subversion about it – chatting around the campus location issue, having a laugh round the acronym – which made it sit better than it might have around the rest of the show.

Some good localness in the ads, the traffic and in the Olympic pride, but surprising maybe not to hear a single reference to the Fringe and Festival – although to be fair, Forth appear to be all over it elsewhere, with live shows and joint branding around the Gilded Balloon.

Jack FM’s blokey, bantery, breakfast, followed by a punning jukebox of research-eschewing tunes is one of the bravest – and most interesting formats – on air. This week we listen in to breakfast on Celador’s Bristol version.

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

That Morning Thing team

WHO   That Morning Thing with Downsy, Alice and Richard

WHAT   Jack FM Bristol

WHEN  1 August 2012

0658 Amy Winehouse/Valerie

It’s Downsy, Alice and Richard, says Downsy. “On the way, we welcome back WTF? – how are your describing skills?”, he asks the team, over the Breakfast Time theme (c 1986)

ADS: That Morning Thing with Yate Shopping Centre, Beer Festival, Bristol Street Motors, Miss Millies Chicken BOGOF

0700 NEWS:

Phelps win, Badminton losers, Bristol’s Craig Figes in the Water Polo, Local Olympic Voicer – Portishead, Clifton, Bristol all mentioned, Bike Accident at Dundry Hill, NBC Olympic time-shifting, Snoop Dogg namechange.

SPORT:

Zara Philips gets Silver

WEATHER

“And there’s more news online at JackBristol.com”

TRAVEL

There’s “a bit of traffic using the White Tree roundabout,” apparently.

0704  AD: Compare the Market

ID: This is that Morning Thing. Some say Downsy’s knowledge of Bristol wouldn’t fit into the Hadron Collider. All we know is they’re live until 9.

Another throw forward to WTF, testing the team’s describing skills in their new Olympic game.

0705 All Summer Long/Kid Rock

0707 Weather read. Sunrise/Sunset. High Tide. 13m tide.

Bed with VO: That Morning Thing

Day 5 of the Olympics: Shooting. Pistol. “My friend’s sister’s in that,’’ says Downsy. Rowing. “Pete-someone, who went to school with Dave is in it. Wish him luck.” Wiggo at 2.15. Time trials. More swimming means Thorpey will be on. “Get him off”, says Alice. “Not gay though”, says Richard, adding that he’s the Australian spokesman for Armani. And points out his ‘questionable outfits’. The Swap Shop Look, as the Daily Mail are calling it this morning. Alice: “Is GB gonna win a gold today?” Wiggo has a chance, they reckon.

Richard points out the Swap Shop jumper in the paper. “He is quite tetchy. Not much of a sense of humour. No chemistry with Lineker.” They talk about Lineker interviewing “Linda – No! – Stella McCartney” as a button fell off his jacket. And having designed 506 costumes, what was the most difficult thing to design? – Tom Daley’s Speedos. Nothing to show there ..

Time for WTF?. It’s a describing game, played by the team amongst themselves. Richard’s up first describing for Alice.

Highlights include:

Shuttlecock. (Badminton)

Grabbing each other! Martial Art. Not karate.  (Judo)

Horseguards parade in tiny costumes. (Beach Volleyball)

Bouncing, bouncing, turning over, bouncing. (Trampoline)

Alice isn’t sure trampolining is an Olympic event. “I’ve not seen it yet.” By that qualification, nor is running, says Richard.

In the second round, Alice’s best clue is “She can’t do it then she goes to the toilet!,” correctly guessed by RIchard as marathon.

There’s a tie-break, and Richard wins.

“Here’s REM now, playing what we want. 1 August 2012.”

REM/Losing My Religion

0719

Nice funny from Downsy on the fact that if you cut out the Wiggins stick-on sideburns from The Sun, it leaves a gap through which you can see things that “may or may not be appropriate in the workplace.”

Promo read for an Aer Lingus online competition to Cork. Or “Proper Ireland” as Richard describes it. “Everyone’s quite angry there – in a nice way.” Downsy doesn’t like people pronouncing it Island. “It’s Ire-land. I tend to do a Bristol accent when I say it.”

SUMMARY

Jack’s apparent lack of format is clearly part of Jack’s very clever format. Only two songs in this 20 minutes, and a long speech block out of the 7. But it breathes well, and it’s funny, so why break it up?

Lots of local in this – notably the tight Olympic voicer, and the very local ads.

For a three-strong team, there’s good delineation between them – Downsy is a generous co-host and plays a good straight man up against Richard’s one-liners. Good to hear a female co-host being funny and not typecast as the ditzy one.

There’s an in-built danger in this format. By being relentlessly witty, do you actually come over as infuriatingly smug? That’s not in evidence here, with good self-deprecation and a sense of when to get out of the link.

Not a lot of Paul Darrow in evidence. (Best post Blakes-7 career EVER). I guess it’s his time to shine after 9. But just before the log started, there was an exquisite topical liner. “Aidan Burley – for the High Jump? (with fx). 106.5 Jack FM,” and listening through the day shows the station’s brand values are in every line – and Darrow is clearly well directed to lean on the right words and display the appropriate level of snarkiness.

I love Jack, generally. And Bristol’s version especially. But then I should. Arch, occasionally misanthropic, professional, male skewing – what’s not to love, if you’re a 43 year old bloke like me?

The Olympics are good for radio. At least, for new stations. There’s 5 live Olympics Extra. There’s the bizarre Boat Radio, brilliantly reviewed by Steve Martin here: http://earshot.tvi.gg/2012/07/boat-radio-is-all-at-sea/. And now there’s International Radio Festival, the official radio station of the House of Switzerland during the Olympics. Snappy. And a little niche.

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO DANILO, SAMUEL and CHRIS (according to the website)

WHAT LIVE@HOS

WHEN 24 July 2012

Danilo Bavier, getting into the mood for London 2012 in an England shirt.

2015 I’m a little hamstrung here in that I have no Swiss or German and only a little French. But hopefully something of a grasp of English. And of the international language of radio; that thing we all share where you can identify passion, pace, the magic of the medium – even if the words mean nothing to you. It starts, I think, with something in Swiss.

The second presenter – Chris I assume –  says in English, “I have to read this in actual German.” And does. Then goes back to English again for this promo line: “Mr Mossiman and the chef of the Queen is serving food throughout the three weeks. We went to see his son who’s head of the kitchen at the House of Switzerland and that’s on our morning show starting at what? 8 o’clock? Yeah, 8 o’clock.”

Lazy Boy/The Bianca Story

(The band website describes them: Try imagining Heaven 17, the B-52’s and Talking Heads at a Fleetwood Mac reunion gig and you’re probably nowhere near. Through this vibrant 5-piece, the 80s get a slacker, soulful feel, courtesy of a beardy bloke (Elia Rediger) with a lazy Phil Oakey drawl) O … K.

Segue, no ID into something unidentified, all soulful and chillout in French.

ID: “Welcome to International Radio Festival, the official radio of the House of Switzerland in London during the Olympics. For full details visit internationalradiofestival.com”

All Around/Monophon

“This is International Radio Festival of London”, says one of the presenters, then some German.

Then, a benchmark. Chris: “Now it’s time for the Wisdom of the Day. Sorry for all you English Listeners The Wisdom of the Day is Swiss Wisdom – It’s …” then something in Swiss which triggers much hilarity in the studio.

Mozaic/Michael Calfan

Mic Howl into the next link.

SUMMARY

On paper, this looks like a glorious attempt at European union, in the spirit of the games. “Don’t be alarmed about the Swinglish nature of their chat!”, says the website. “Danilo will speak in Swiss German, Samuel in French, and Chris in return in English.”

From an organisation that describes itself as ‘a must attend for all music radio professionals, radio jockeys and DJs alike’ you might be expecting something different and interesting, with real pace and style.

The music was certainly eclectic, and surprisingly listenable, like when you stumble into a cooler bar than usual, and want to Shazam everything they play.

But the imaging was confused, and did nothing to lead this listener into the rest of the schedule or even promote the station’s aims – a real shame for a temporary station like this. The links over-modded a bit, and there was a bit of mic howl at one point. It sounded like an averagely engineered RSL.

So who is this for? From this example, there was no real effort to translate for or welcome the non-Swiss listener.

If you’re a hipster from Basel, there’s finally a radio station in London for you.

He’s the lynchpin of the Radio 2 schedule. As the entire line-up evolved around him, Ken Bruce and the ‘second-biggest audience in UK Radio’ have comfortably inhabited mid-morning for two decades. So how does his classic Popmaster quiz sound on day one of a new jingle set?

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO   Ken Bruce

WHAT   BBC Radio 2

WHEN   16 July 2012

1024   White Light/George Michael

… which is the ‘Record of the Week’ apparently, meaning we’ll hear it every day.

1027   OK this is why we’re here! “The brand new sound of .. Popmaster!” says Ken with a jingle that makes Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds sound positively understated. A point Ken picks up, “We’re energised already, listening to that.”

John Hutchinson is in Weymouth. He was expecting the other jingle, he tells Ken. John does grounds maintenance of the outside of buildings. Ken clarifies; “This is the grounds, not the buildings?” He deserves a lifetime Sony for twenty years of just being interested in this kind of stuff. John talks about the weather and how it’s affecting his job. “The bed has been made, you must lie in it. The flower bed that is,” says Ken.

John’s been with Christina for 32 years but never married her. “It’s not a good idea to rush into these things,” quips Ken. There’s the usual perambulation through family minutiae. “And you’re related to a famous person?” He’s Terry Venables’s cousin, which is mildly remarkable, and there’s some good natured Chelsea/Rangers banter. “Forres Mechanics are higher up than Rangers”.

American No 1s or Chart Tributes? John chooses the latter asked to predict his score. “Depends on the day, but low-20s would be good the way the competitions going lately.”

Bed out with a Sonovox-alike, and we’re into it.

East 17‘s hit Stay Another what? Day. Right. Temptations Ball of what? Confusion. Right.

Bonus question on Chart Tributes. Plays a clip of I Feel Like Buddy Holly. Who did it? “Not Shakin’ Stevens, is it?” No, John. It was Alvin Stardust. “The same kind of performer,” says Ken, letting him down easy.

What Ska-influenced group did Can Can and Walking in the Sunshine? John doesn’t beat the countdown – then suggests Buster Bloodvessel. He gets one point for that. Dizzy by Tommy Roe, Ballad of John and Yoko by the Beatles and I Heard it through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye. In which year were they all number ones? “’68?” No, one year out!, which appears to be a catchphrase if the T-shirt Lynne is wearing on the website is to be believed.

Plays a chunk of ABC’s When Smokey Sings (which doesn’t mention Smokey). Who were they singing about. Smokey Robinson, says John, correctly. Six points, says Ken. Which group from the glam era did Fox on the Run and Action? The Sweet. Correct. Gossip’s current song is Move In What? John doesn’t know. “We’ve been playing it ..” says Ken. The Right Direction is the answer.

Bonus: Here’s a 2007 chart hit referencing The King – but what’s the group? And plays a bit of Scouting for Girls/Elvis Ain’t Dead. This reviewer couldn’t hear John’s answer under the impatient Sonovox count, but Ken must have. It’s wrong. Ricky Martin’s first hit. Un, Dos, Tres, What? Quatro, suggests John, not unreasonably. “They didn’t go any further than three. It’s Maria.”, says Ken.

So John gets 16 points. And sounds disappointed. “Not too bad, you can be proud!” says Ken. And throws forward to Colin Clark, from Scarborough, who’s up next.

1033   I Need A Dollar/Aloe Black

1036   More Popmaster

So we get the full jingle again. Colin’s on. He’s well today. “Goooooooood”, says Ken. Colin’s just going shopping. We never find out what for. He’s retired, and helps at a local school. He’s a birdwatcher, and used to work on a nature reserve. “And you met someone famous there?” Yes, in 1973, David Bellamy. Perhaps not a statistical impossibility. If you’re going to meet David Bellamy anywhere … And Colin also tells us he follows Ipswich Town.

American Number Ones or Girl Groups? Colin goes for American Number Ones rather than Girl Groups and tells us he reckons he and John are well matched.

Umbrella by who? Rihanna. 3 points. Hot Chocolate and Modern Talking both had songs called Brother what? Louie. Yes!

Bonus: Plays Take A Bow. Who did it? “I’m struggling, Ken,” says Colin before not recognising Madonna. Good grief. In 1980, Junior Mervin sang about Police and What? Criminals? “Nearly”, says Ken. Thieves. What year did My Heart Will Go On, Millennium and Believe get to number one? 1989? “The opposite”, says Ken. 98.

Bonus: US Number 1 from 1968. Never made the UK Chart. People Gotta Be Free. By the Rascals. Colin guessed the Temptations. What band had hits called Showdown, Turn to Stone and Ma Ma Ma Bell? ELO. What band came back in 2008 after 9 yeatrs? Boyzone. Two in a row right for Colin.

Bonus: Meko’s 1977 instrumental version of what movie theme? “Towering Inferno?” says Colin! Agh. 7.45m people shout “Star Wars” at their radios. What’s only hit by Toto Coelo? I Eat Cannibals.

15 points. No problem says Colin – who says he was after the T-shirt anyway. Hi to wife Chris and kids Laura, Matthew, Thomas and Katy.

Back to John for ‘Three in Ten’. “It was tough what he had,” John reckons. Three UK single chart hits for Style Council. Not really John’s band, he tells us – only coming up with Long Hot Summer? Crowd moan FX and out. Ken ruminates “Long Hot Summer isn’t one, I’m afraid. That’s always the problem with whether it’s Paul Weller or Style Council. Oh, but actually, it is there! That was on Paris Match.You got one.” But one out of three doesn’t win the day, just “a Beautiful MP3 player.”

Can I say hello to a couple of people? asks John, before reading a list of everyone he ever met. Ken is courteous and patient as ever, before asking us “would you like to hear the jingle once more? A few days and you’ll be saying I don’t know how we ever put up with the old one …”

Popmaster Jingle Out

1044   Don McLean/American Pie

SUMMARY

Ken is a great broadcaster, often turning the slightest material into radio genius. Take John and Colin, today’s contestants. If Popmaster was a sitcom, they’d both be played by Ever Decreasing Circles-era Richard Briars. But he guides them through the occasionally-bizarre Popmaster mechanic and scoring to create a cult radio moment that encourages play-along in the listener.

Popmaster isn’t going to win any awards for creativity. But there’s merit in executing something straightforward with confidence, warmth and wit – consistently.

Radio 2 breaks radio rules. In twenty minutes, Ken didn’t tell us what we were listening to. This was the first day of a new jingle set and all the presenters were (shocked face) talking about it. Anywhere else, that would sound terrible. But the clever involvement of some of the station’s big names in its performance gives this music-interested network the fig-leaf it needs to do that convincingly.

In all the important ways, you know Ken is one of us; a radio head through and through. He’s tight, he’s one-to-one and his audience loves him.

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

Monocle 24 is an online radio station from Tyler Brûlé’s glossy current affairs mag of the same name. “From the point of view its ambitions for global reach and coverage of world affairs, Monocle 24 will probably resemble and sound like many commonwealth public service broadcasters, including BBC World Service, as well as shades of ABC and Canada’s CBC,” he told the Telegraph when it launched back in October.

Big aim. So how’s it sound? ‘Listened In’ tuned in one afternoon two-thirds of the way though its weekly food magazine programme.

WHO The Menu with Markus Hippi

WHAT Monocle 24

WHEN 10 July 2012

1444 We’re midway through a feature called ‘The Menu’s Barista of the Week’. He tells us about how the coffee scene has developed in Copenhagen alongside the Danish food scene. Customers now understand coffee is a complex type of food and want to know how it’s grown, roasted and prepared.

1446  Markus: Back-announces tape and tells us, ‘You are listening to the Menu.’

ID: Random bit of jazz. No voiceover. How very NPR.

Here’s the thing with Monocle 24. In its rightful ambition to put brilliant writers and thinkers on their online station, they sometimes overlook the kind of radio vernacular needed to make you truly engage with the presenter or indeed, the content. Take a look at this cue, which I’ve logged verbatim.

“Well, while the Menu team was mostly in Copenhagen, the London team looked at what was to come. Now, are you a fan of Food Festivals? We have already visited one today, but as it is the season indeed, why not don shades and visit another? On the Menu and in hand is English wine. The Glynde Food and English Wine Festival will take place during the 14th and 15th of July in the idyllic region of Glynde in England. Monocle’s researcher Ferdinando Augusto Barcecko spoke with Lord Francis Hampden, founder of the Festival, who told us about the chefs who have made it to the main stage at the event, about its history and mulled over what it takes to put on a great food event.”

Some of this is down to using broadcasters for whom English is a second language. But that chirpy anachronistic style is out of kilter with the quality of the content.

Lord Hampden is a good enough egg. Says he’s lucky to live in an Elizabethan House big enough to put on a big festival. English cuisine is very exciting now. British are embracing it as much as gardening. Lots of big names like John Torode are appearing.

The questions are a bit PR-y. ‘How do you organise such high profile guests?’. ‘Apart from the festival, do you have any other projects at the moment?’

1456 Markus is back with this week’s dinner soundtrack recommendation. He assures us, “This is Danish, but no normal indie Skandi caper. It’s Brazilian Bossa with a frosted finish”. You won’t hear a crunch and roll like that on Heart.

SONG: Copenhaquen/Steen Rasmussen

1459 ID: Stylised voices reading: LDN NYC TYO M24

ID: Number of languages saying ‘You’re listening to Monocle 24’

AD: Rolex

1500 ID: Synthesised beepy Pip-alikes

Newsreader, “2300 in Tokyo, 1700 in Khartoum, 1500 here in London, and 0700 in San Francisco. Serving the World this is Monocle 24”

NEWS: Syria UN Talks (Kofi Annan clip). Egypt’s Parliament convenes despite dissolution (Hillary Clinton clip). German Foreign Minister vists Egypt. (Clip). Venezuelan President says he’s better from cancer. Trial of Libyan intelligence chief. Tonga Royal Wedding (Clip of minister).

Bedded appropriately, well-presented by Jonathan Wheatley, and perfectly executed tricky pronunciations.

SUMMARY

As you might expect from the man who brought us *Wallpaper, then Monocle the Magazine, there’s an assured air and an opulence about this online station. You sit through a 30” Krug pre-roll before listening, and everything else seems to be sponsored by Rolex. You won’t hear Go Compare or Maureen in these breaks.

There are no presenter pictures on the site, but as you listen you can imagine them sipping Flat Whites (are those still cool?) in a sophisticated monochrome studio, dressed as if they’d stepped out of an Esquire fashion shoot. There is an un-hurriedness about the output, clearly designed to attract BBC Radio 4 and World Service devotees. The international agenda of the bulletins, the eclectic choices in music and the rather random speech scheduling make this a fascinating, if occasionally challenging, listen.

Cleverly, Monocle 24 has started with a small range of built speech shows aimed at the core interests of its upmarket target audience – design, entrepreneurs, culture, world debate – repeated at various times across the week, surrounded by sweeps of what it calls ‘elegant music tracks’.

If you’re a pure radio head, there is a lot here you could find issue with. And a small dose of some radio truths could make it a smoother listening experience. But there is some interesting ambition and thought going on here – and let’s face it, anyone trying to re-invent speech radio should be encouraged.

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

Steve and Karen and a Billboard

The latest battle of breakfasts has erupted in the North East. After months off-air (their gardens must be looking AMAZING) Steve Furnell and Karen Wight have arrived at Metro after being poached from Capital.

Our twenty-minute aircheck found a rich seam of listener interaction, plenty of laughs and some built comedy inspired by a Metro voice of the 80s.

WHO Steve and Karen

WHAT Metro Radio

WHEN 3 July 2012

0745 PROMO: Katy Perry competition

ID: Metro Radio. You can now get in touch through our iPhone app.

AD: Used Mercedes

0746  TRAFFIC: Metro Radio’s ‘continuous traffic watch with the Tyne Tunnel’. Steve introduces Captain Marky Mark who sounds confident and credible. And not in the studio. ‘Lorries leaving the town moor due to the hoppings ..’ his script drips localness. Then we hear where he is – on an airstrip somewhere, probably, but grounded. “The good news is we wIll be airbourne shortly … Starburst is ready to go.”

0747 Shine A Light/McFly

0751 Back Anno. Bed. Good reset, conversational weather, then into some interaction.

Karen: We’re talking life mottos, today. Glass half full or half empty, kind of thing. Buddha gets a mention.

Let’s get Denise on, says Steve: “What’s yours is mine and what’s mines me own.” You feel for her husband, they say.

“Let’s get Sandra on. How’s Consett looking this morning?” “I’ve got me washing out,” says Sandra, adding “You cant have a better tomorrow if you’re thinking about yesterday all the time.” And she has another one. “A great man is hard on himself. A small man is hard on others.” “I’m a small man!”, says Steve before going straight to Andy, who tells us to “Learn from yesterday, enjoy today, live for tomorrow.”

Glynis is up next. “Is the juice worth the squeeze?” It’s what her Dad taught her which leads into a nice chat about how you pick stuff up from parents. Glynis’s kids are already learning from her.

One last one from Sarah: “Take it easy, and if you get it easy, take it twice.”

Text solicit. What’s the phrase that you live by?

0753  Party Til We Drop/DJ X-Change

0755  Back Anno. “We should squeeze in the Rahman remix. We’ve remixed the early 80s Metro Radio Mr Rahman ad …”

There follows a great bit of built comedy. Mr Rahman was the star of a client voiced ad on Metro through the 80s. He famously had a factory ‘on the Western Road, near the motorbike shops’ which promised to replace zips in any garment for a pound. Steve and Karen have remixed his catchphrases, including his plaintive sign-off, ‘please come and see me.’

Beautifully made and very funny audio. And a good line from Karen off the back. “Mr Rahman’s not around any more. Which is a shame ‘cos I got a zip replaced recently and it cost me more than the bloody skirt!  Primani special.”

0759  ID: S&K with Gateshead College

ADS: PG Tips, Barrett Homes, Morrissons – selected packs of Haggis? No it’s Huggies, but the Chris Tarrant VO could be either, Confused, Sun holidays. DFDS Seaways, Empire Cinema, Metro Arena.

0801  NEWS: TOTH sounder; Steve intros ‘Simon with the news and it’s all about exam boards and what they may have been getting up to’. Yeah, says Simon, who two-ways in. Exam boards story.

Big news if you’re a Barclays customer. Chief Exec is gone. Chairman back. “Sounds like something out of Big Brother, if you ask me.”

Fruit shoot drink recall.

Sports tease – Newcastle Utd have sold a striker. Doesn’t tell us who. Guess we have to stick around until 0830.

Solicits for ‘Good News Day’ on Friday. Tell Metro your good news story and they will come and talk to you.

Spiderman movie is out – clips with Empire magazine guy.

Weather sounder ‘with Metro Centre – Enjoy summer more with a Citreon DS3.’

Pump Patrol. This is clever. Daily updates on who’s selling the cheapest petrol in the patch. Listeners asked to contribute via #metropp on Twitter if they know different. It’s the Shell garage on the Great North Road today apparently.

0804 TRAVEL: Steve cues in Captain Marky Mark who’s airborne.

“Over Great North Road looking down on the lunar landscape that used to be Town Moor ..”

SUMMARY

In twenty minutes, we heard traffic and weather, good listener interaction -which didn’t outstay its limited appeal, a well-produced music skit and a laugh out loud moment from Karen.

Mr Rahman was a highlight. I lived in Newcastle in the 80s and hearing him again brought up to date was a clever move, linking Metro into this idea of its own heritage, in a turbulent market – but not requiring any previous knowledge. An extra layer for the 40-something whilst remaining accessible for the core audience. And it was funny.

There was good visual writing, and lots of localness in the traffic junctions and a sense of urgency about their delivery.

The news at eight was well targeted to the audience – Fruit Shoot recalls and all – but wouldn’t one strong local story at eight really help nail this station’s North East credentials? The writing goes to extraordinary lengths to make the listener care – ‘Big news if you’re a Barclays customer’ – Really? But the two-way introduction from Steve, the solicit for good news day, and the Pump Patrol are all clever techniques.

Warm and funny, tight and effortless, you can hear why this is a breakfast show in demand.

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

By now you’ll know their story. They’re 86, and 90. They met at a ‘Tuesday Club’ for older folk, and were talent-spotted by Radio Humberside’s David Reeves while on a station tour. And six years later, they beat Frank Skinner and Adam & Joe to Best Entertainment Show at this year’s Sony Radio Academy Awards.

But what do they do on the air?

WHAT BBC Radio Humberside

WHO Beryl and Betty with David Reeves

WHEN 23 June 2012

1816 Magic Moments/Perry Como

1818 Back Announce.

Here’s another challenge to get the Buble on the show, says David. I’m here! shouts Beryl or Betty – it’s sometime hard to tell them apart if you’re new to this. And we’re straight into a running gag about these two ladies’ (joint age 176) lust for the crooner. Beryl and Betty are known for their skits – and this is one of the best: Destiny’s Child, Bootylicious. Stand out lyric, ‘I don’t think you’re ready for this granny ‘cos you’re way too … Buble-icious!’

David asks what Michael would say if he heard it. ‘He’d say put me on the next plane, I want to meet those two lovely ladies’ comes the reply.

1821 Beryl and Betty’s Record of the Week. Set-up in which two 30 second excerpts of new singles are played to the women, and they choose which one will be played in full later. This week it’s Andy Grammer’s Fine by Me vs Coldplay/Rihanna’s Princess of China.

1826 Rock the Boat/Hues Corporation

ID: Officially the most entertaining show in the UK, says deep voiceover man, before a discussion about how nice he sounds. ‘Would be more entertaining if that man was here. It would add some spice to it.’ ‘He’s under the table!’

David reads a poem submitted via the duos Facebook page, based on Beryl’s comments last week that a man is only properly dressed if he’s wearing freshly shined shoes and smart socks.

Banter about shoes for a while.

1829 David reads a paper funny about naturists attending a German supermarket in return for free food. ‘Imagine that in Bransholme?’ he asks, to much giggling.

1832 It Might as well Rain until September/Carole King

1834 ID: Beryl and Betty with David Reeves on BBC Radio Humberside

Black Heart/Stooshe

SUMMARY

It’s impossible to dislike Beryl Renwick and Betty Smith. This is a joyful slice of radio, slight but affecting. It’s worth it for Betty’s contagious laughter alone. Reeves expertly guides them through the double, and occasionally single, entendres.

I watched them humbly take the stage at the Radio Academy Yorkshire event last week. ‘If Bob Shennan came knocking at your door ..,’ asked one questioner, ‘I’d say ‘come in’!’ says Betty, without a beat. Their comic timing is spot on. ‘And that Peter Levy can still cut a rug.’

The trick here will be maintaining the appeal – not that that seems to be an issue six years in. Where do you take them next? I’d like to hear more of their remarkable life stories, a little more shade with the light.

And we should spare a thought for Mrs Reeves. Clearly there are now four people in this marriage! At the Academy event, David revealed that his wife believed he talked to Betty and Beryl more than he did to her. He checked his mobile phone call  list.

Wife 34. Betty 54. Beryl 74.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

Listened In is 2ZY’s air-check blog. Every week, we listen to a random 20 minute sample of a station in the news.

Anyone would think the last thirty years hadn’t happened.

It’s scary for this 43 year old to consider that the music of 1986, when I started at Radio 210, is now older than Love Me Do was back then.

The gold format is growing up, and it’s all about the 1980s.

Orion are about to swap Gold for Free Radio 80s. And Town and Country have flipped Swansea Bay (and notably its associated whole-of-South-Wales DAB) to an 80s format as a brand extension to Nation. These line up against the national DAB Absolute 80s and its not too shabby 857k listeners (RAJAR Q112).

So on a typical evening drive, how are these stations showcasing the era that brought us Deely Boppers, leg warmers and the Rubik’s cube?

Here’s a double Listened In post.

WHAT Nation 80s

WHO Presenterless

WHEN 13 June 2012

1726 Jump/The Pointer Sisters

1727 ID: The 80s Station. This is Nation 80s.

If I Could Turn Back Time/Cher

1730 ID: The 80s Station. This is Nation 80s.

ADS: Tradecentre Wales, Carpetright Madness, Mumbles Kitchen Studio, Towers Hotel Spa presents Tina Turner tribute night (which, according to the hotel website, is sold out already.)

1734 NEWS, self introduced: Wales house sales figures, Jeremy Hunt, Swansea parcel mail scheme, Old Peoples’ services report, Poland v Russia violence, Weather and ‘Now back to the biggest hits of the 80s’.

1735 Jump/Van Halen

1739 ID: The 80s Station. This is Nation 80s.

(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life/Medley & Warnes

1743 ID: The 80s Station. This is Nation 80s.

The Heat is On/Glenn Frey

SUMMING UP

So, this is THE 80s station apparently. Nothing like underlining the message – but exactly the same positioner, four times in twenty minutes?

Nation 80s only has one live show, at Breakfast. ‘Computer in a Cupboard’ formats work best with sharp imaging and clever information integration. The headline sequence was well presented and the whole thing was quite tight if … flat.

The four songs were very female friendly well-testing bankers, but all American. Two even had the same title. 80s as a format offers great variety – and isn’t variety required if you don’t want a decade format to burn itself out?

_____________________________________________________________________

WHAT Absolute 80s

WHO Leona Graham

WHEN 13 June 2012

1747 Poison/Alice Cooper

1750 Positioner: This is Absolute 80s, the UK’s only 80s Radio station.

Take on Me/A-ha

1754 LINK: Back Announce. Reads competition script from website: “This week we’re reliving our youth, back when summer was six weeks of glorious sun. We’ve got copies of ‘I Grew Up In The 80s’ to win. 3 CDs, 1 of Number 1s, one fantastic 80s party and the ultimate 80s Movie and TV Themes.”

Online entry mechanic featuring multiple-choice question: Who performed the Ghostbusters theme?

PROMO: Presented by Alan the Dog. Thank you thank you Thursday. Walls promo. Go to absoluteradio.co.uk to nominate someone.

ID: This is Absolute 80s

ADS: Vans, Domestos, Screwfix summer deals, Direct Redress PPI

PROMO: Absolute Ticketstore for Tatton Park 80s concerts

ID: I play synth, we all play synth. The UK’s only 80s radio station. Absolute 80s.

1758 You Make My Dreams/Hall & Oates

1800 TRAVEL: Charlton. Worcestershire M5. Newport M4. Leicestershire M1.

ID: This is Ab80s

AD: Meerkat Toys

PROMO: England v Sweden on Absolute Radio

ID: We are Absolute 80s the UK’s only 80s radio station .. Check out this song from the 1980s

LINK: Coming up, Jane Wiedlin and Police, first Fine Young Cannibals

1803 She Drives Me Crazy/FYC

1806 So Lonely/Police

SUMMING UP

There are more guitars going on here than on some other 80s outlets, as you’d expect in a station from Absolute. Musically, it’s a good spread of the 80s, although the unfamiliar Hall & Oates non-hit sticks out a bit.

The marmite Matt Berry lines are balanced by a good FVO in the imaging. After six it sounded odd for one of these to cue ‘this song from the 1980s’ into a voice tracked link. No news at six either. Does a drive time audience expect headlines?

There’s a chance to win something 80s relevant and a good concert promo, so it sounds like the 80s theme goes beyond the music, which feels right. The presenter only appeared twice, very briefly in this segment.

_______________________________________________________________________

80s FORMATS

For me, as an 80s fan, the trick here is to endorse and celebrate the music and other ephemera of the decade, without coming over all trainspotter.

Stations need to demonstrate their passion, authority and shared experience of that time with me – and at the same time, introduce a new generation of listeners to the era.

I’ve heard the ‘chocolate box’ argument about the eighties format. How stations like this won’t work, because listeners want an occasional fix, not to gorge on a whole box.

The opposing view says the decade has such a strong and broad musical identity, it’s possible to programme a great mix – new wave, electronic, dance, pop – skewed male or female from a finite but familiar range of radio friendly tunes.

There’s certainly room to be a second-choice station for a narrow, but passionate band of forty-somethings.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio