This is curious. A radio station for a road. Albeit a bloody big road.

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHAT:    The Highway Vibe

WHEN:  Tuesday 4 June 2013

1217

Blurry/Puddle of Mudd
ID: The Highway Vibe

Good Time/Owl City & Carly Rae Jepson
Next to Me/Emile Sande

ID: Your vibe of Vegas is the Highway Vibe (vox of listeners)

ADS: Absinthe Show at Caesars/ Barbara Mandell Country Showdown – “with our sister station the Highway Country” – a country talent show for listeners with a big money prize/Ronald McDonald House Charities of Southern California/Experio UV lens sunglasses/Rental Centre

1230

TRAFFIC: A blur of beautifully read information including some fabulous ‘only in America’ travel phrases “Southbound on the 15 between Baker and Barstow, another wreck ..” “Just by the Desert Oasis rest area” … and “on the 18, a plugging operation for Cal Trans in that area”. Sponsored by a lawyer, looking for victims of disease brought on by working in a particular industrial plant. “The latest weather Vibe is hot.” You don’t say? Here in the desert?  “Overnight lows, mid to upper 70s in Vegas, 40s in the high desert. Hear traffic and weather at the top and bottom of every hour on the Highway Vibe”

AD: Souters.com cars “up the hill in Barstow.”

ID: The Highway Vibe

Lego House/Ed Sheeran
Firework/Katy Perry

SUMMARY

Highway Radio is actually a network of three stations, with one audience. People travelling to Vegas from California. 400,000 watts of FM to cover 40,000 square miles of empty desert – empty but for one very important feature; Interstate 15. With the population centres at either end of the Mojave, Highway Radio’s website reckons it can give you a can-you-believe-it 14 million tourists in a 4-6 hour period, 35% of whom don’t know where they’re staying yet.

The closest we ever got to something like this was Channel Travel Radio. But that was a few tired watts on a drizzly A2.

Last time I listened to a Highway Radio station, it was in situ on the 15, and it was one of those times when a station felt totally of its place.

But it seems there have been some byzantine ownership and format changes since then.

Back then, the music was right, there was a good journey-man jock, either live or expertly voice-tracked. There were well-produced ‘What’s on in Vegas’ bulletins, and the travel/weather was as good as it was in this listen.

Now it seems like a shadow of its former self (or should that be an echo?). The music still worked, I guess. And the travel was expertly presented.

When you’re out of the hills, the excitement of Vegas at the end of the 15, stretching ahead of you for six hours, it’s not long before the FM stations of Southern California start fizzing and popping. If you want to avoid the ‘swivel eyed loons’ of AM talk radio (and you don’t have SiriusXM) the three computers-in-a-cupboard at Barstow are providing a valuable – and romantic – service.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

Respectable audiences and a cabinet full of awards are not enough to keep your brand alive, it seems. So long, Kerrang Radio, (on actual transmitters anyway). Rather than the ‘turn it off today’ approach of TFM, the guys at Kerrang have a couple of weeks to play before they get Planet Rocked. We listened in.

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO     Matt Stocks

WHAT    Kerrang 105.2

WHEN   Tuesday 27 May 2013

0820

Hives/Walk Idiot Walk

Back Anno. “I need to get some more coffee. You go in waves, don’t you, when you’re getting up early for the first time in a long time, which is definitely the first time in a long time for me today. Err, yes. So loads of people getting in touch with the show and trying to top Graham Norton’s lineup from his show on Saturday, of reuniting Fresh Prince Will Smith, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Carlton. And I can never remember the actor’s real name, just refer, but everybody does, anyway yeah, don’t they, just Carlton, so everyone’s just trying to say how can we top it, how can we go one better? Steve from Staffordshire suggests the Young Ones, the original cast of the Young Ones and Cliff Richard performing the Summer Holiday episode. Amazing. That would be good. And Lydia is saying the cast of Only Fools and Horses, doing the theme tune to that as well. So we do have a couple of British equivalents that could maybe go up against the trilogy of awesomeness that was the Fresh Prince cast on the Graham Norton show. I still don’t know if anything we’ve got could top that though, it was so so good. It’s on YouTube. It’s probably got a bazillion hits by now, but get online if you didn’t see Graham Norton’s show this weekend and type in Fresh Prince rap, and be amazed it’s so awesome.”

ID: Get the latest and get in touch. I got 90 friends on Facebook, 12 of them are pending, but I got 90 friends. Facebook.com/kerrangradio or @kerrangradio on twitter. Kerrang Radio is everywhere that rocks.

ID: (Cheesy music) Very soon we will play some rock music. So stay where you are. Kerrang Radio.

ADS: The Big Wedding/Bespoke Offers/Skips/We Buy Any Car/Talk Talk Broadband and Phone/The Big Wedding

TRAVEL: Kerrang Radio Travel. “Right, let’s see if this goes better than last time. I’m going in. With the travel update for you.” (reads travel news) “There we go, that was a bit better than last time wasn’t it? You’ll have another travel update in an hour.”

AD: VW Commercial Vehicles

No ID off break. Just says “The Loaf” off break over intro.

Bat Out of Hell/Meatloaf

Back Anno. “It is Kerrang Radio. Tuesday morning with Matt Stocks in for Loz and Keith today. The time is half past 8 in the AM. I’m sure I said evening earlier on the show. It’s just like force of habit, used to being on air in the night time but here in the morning today. Yesterday was at Slam Dunk festival, caught up with many bands and indoor festivals are funny, cos you’re walking round the press area and you just bump into people. And I opened the door walking down a corridor and there’s a piano there being played by Liam from We Are The Ocean, so I switched my microphone on and this is what happens. Him just playing. I think he’d had a few whiskies at this point, celebrating a successful set.”

Then we get a lovely bit of piano jamming and a very intimate, impromptu two minute interview about the festival.

The Waiting Room/We Are the Ocean

Back Anno. Goes into part two of the interview with Liam “with a big beaming grin on his face from ear to ear and a few whiskies in his belly.”

Interview finishes with a bit of Young Heart, played to Matt in a corridor. “And this is how that song should sound ..”

Young Heart/We are the Ocean

SUMMARY

I’m confused. Matt told me who he is once, but the website tells me “Keith” is now playing. Hate that.

But introductions out of the way, what did we get? A half-term swing jock, caterpillar breakfast show for the first few links which becomes a butterfly when we get to the festival. OK, so it’s a crap metaphor for a rock radio station (and my, isn’t THAT suddenly a crowded position) but this was a show of two halves.

Look at the rambly link into the break and travel. Lots of ‘everyones’ and back references to previous misdemeanours.

But clearly we’re working with someone who loves radio here because the stuff backstage at the festival is some of the best I heard all week. Strolling up to a big star (for Kerrang), half-cut and piano jamming is bang on the money and for that experience to be shared by the radio station is the kind of content that cements loyalty. Great use of language. And just long enough.

So to the FM graveyard, there’s a place for Kerrang alongside Victory, GB Radio, Abbey FM and the rest. I’m not the kind of person who wore a black armband when, say, Hereward, got Hearted, and business, after all, is business. But there was always something loveable about Kerrang. Its liners weren’t as witty as a Celador Jack, but less smug than Absolute. They put a dog on the air, and owned the end of the World.

There was real creativity. And they had a lot of fun. Good luck, guys.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

It will have done wonders for BBC Radio Stoke’s iPlayer figures. But who’s to blame for the most entertaining train-wreck of a show in a long time? We listened in.

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO      Paula White

WHAT   BBC Radio Stoke

WHEN   Friday 10 May 2013

Paula, on a better day.

“For the last time on lunchtime, let’s saaaaaaayyyy youuuuu pick the music. Oh yah.”

The Best/Tina Turner

“Played that for my Dad when he was 60 at Rileys, which is now a Co-op at the top of Smallthorne.”

ID: BBC Radio Stoke – Be Part of It.

“It’s always better when you arrrrrrrrrre! (gap) Paula, enjoy your day and thanks for being yourself, from Glynn.” Perhaps more of herself than Glynn was expecting, but hey. “Paula, we’ll miss your wit and sense of humour. Look forward to Saturdays from Sandra in Stoke. Thank you. It’s a P-A-R-T-Y … because I said so!” (claps hands)

“Last lunchtime. Some people will say ‘oh thank goodness for that. She’s gone’. Other people will go ‘hmmm, how will i get the dog to sleep,’ because I know people actually play this show out for their dogs. How lovely!” (this exclamation is the funniest moment of comedy in the whole thing. I still can’t tell if it’s loaded with contempt or genuinely appreciative!)

“It is my last show. I want song suggestions. Look. Let’s just throw it all out. I don’t get told what songs to pl- No, I do get told what songs to play. But I don’t get told what songs to play – ewww – on the last day of my … showwwwww.

So if you want a song, oh my goodness. If you want a song, let’s have a party, party, party. Last day with Paula. I’m quite sad. I will cry. I’ve cried about ten times today, on John Acres and Jody and different people. I know. I know. But if you want a song for a Friday. It’s the 10th of May. Let me know. 81 treble three. Start your message with the Stoke. You have to start it with Stoke. Leave me your name and where you’re texting from.”

Come on Over to My Place/Drifters

Laughs. “The Drifters, Come on Over to my Place. I. Don’t. Care. Whatever you want to hear this afternoon, it’s like you can hear it.”

Them/Here Comes the Night

“It’s Them. Here Comes the NIght. Rich says ‘Paula you sound drunk’. I’m not drunk. I’ve had a couple of drinks, I’m not drunk! (squeals, laughs). I’m sad. We’ll miss you Paula. Shame you’re going, won’t be the same in the week. Be listening on a Saturday says Rog. Aaaaand wishing you all the best for the future. Ohhh. Right, songs today. Not just the last song, but songs you want to hear. (whispers) Carte Blanche. That’s what they call it when you got a free range. Err, Tina in Blurton would like to hear Charlie Rich, The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. Ahhhhh Tina! Oh, she means for her.

Tony in Handforth says ‘I’m going back’ – going back WHERE? (shreiks). And Gazza in Stafford says AEIOUU by Freez. Oh my gosh! We we gotta play that anyway! You just said it, we gotta play it. Thank you for all your song suggestions. Between now and 4 o’clock we’re having a par-tayyyyy. We can. We absolutely can. Last day. So if you’ve got a song you want to hear then get in touch. 81 treble three start your message with the word Stoke and suggest a song you’d like to hear.

Now this lady won Eurovision for us a couple of years ago. Erm. (clears throat). She wasn’t with the Sunshines or the Waves. Oh. I’ll try and get a hold … it’s just like the computer’s just not working. Awwwww How lovely! It’s like me last day and I’m just. Oh. Shall I do it now? Yeah? Shall I do this?”

(first note of Walking on Sunshine followed by instrumental jingle).

“It didn’t work. So. Shall we go for the Beatles. Oh. That’s not working either. Ohhh (laughs) It’s my last day and nothing’s working. Why’s nothing working? Errrrrrrrrr. Let’s try this shall we. (whispers) Shall we try this?”

Hello Goodbye/The Beatles

Segues to Travel.

Segues to The Conversation/Texas

“Thats the new one from texas and conversation on BBC Radio Stoke.”

Walking on Sunshine/Katrina and the Waves

“Katrina and the Waves and Walking on Sunshine.”

Then we cut halfway into a chat about Paula’s weight watching challenge (with a big fat plug for weightwatchers.co.uk).

“How brilliant. It’s my last day today on the lunchtime show and I have lost, (gasps) count it people, 18 lbs. I know, I know. you might think ‘is that it?’ Apart from one week when I put it on. 18lb in the last four months. I am so happy. I look a bit straggly. But 18lb!”  (squeals).

“Ya-hay!”

SUMMARY

What a joyful, fascinating, piece of radio. If you’ve had even half a career in radio, you’ve probably done a ‘last show’ at some time. Or, you’ve created the circumstances under which someone else has one. The first thing to note is Paula’s profanity filter is still in evidence. There’s nothing here that would trouble Ofcom. And if the best radio is ‘as in life, on the air’ then this certainly meets that criterion. This is a woman doing a real life Rex Bob Lowenstein. Six and a half years of her life, a few drinks, and we’re getting something straight from the heart. Maybe there’s a lesson in how uptight we all are so much of the time that this sounds so different, so exciting, so … real.

There was a clue that Paula may not have been in the right place when, having taken control, she sings over the top of ‘Electric Dreams’ in the previous show. Her talk into the news is also clearly slurred and unpredictable. “You’re in for an interesting ride this afternoon,” says the outgoing presenter.

Final shows can go many ways, of course. There’s the celebratory, well-planned final moment (Ross/BRMB, Moyles/R1, Fox/Capital); the presenter-decided surprise final show, forever known as doing a DLT – or maybe now, a Baker.; Then there’s the final show the presenter doesn’t know about, beloved by some commercial programmers but, strangely, rarely an approach used at the BBC.

So, nobody died. Nobody swore. Some people had a good laugh at Paula’s expense. But the question here is what the hell was happening in the rest of the station? Did no-one think to alert any management. How come she was left on the air for half an hour in such a state?

This is Radio Management 1.01. When a manager has ‘the conversation’, you assess the individual’s state and make a judgement on how they will be on the air for the rest of their contract. Surely, even after those considerations, any programmer would want to be on station, and listening to a last show, ‘just in case’?

And is it not wise in such a situation, to go and see the talent just before a last show, shake their hand, and subtly remind them of what is expected, if you feel that needs doing? If that had happened, Paula’s condition would have been spotted. You don’t get that drunk by taking a couple of sips of something during the news.

So, good luck Paula White. I hope you get to do your Saturday show. You drank the drink, but you’re only partly responsible for being left on the air like that for half an hour. You deserve more than a few snidey inches in the Daily Mail after six and a half years.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

You thought no-one would ever say “Jeepers” in real life. You were wrong.

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO      Steve and Suzy

WHAT     Big L 1 & 2

WHEN    Sunday 28 April (reviewed from Big L Listen Again)

Zany.

1000

ID: (Over Terry & June theme) Ladies and Gentlemen, Big L International proudly presents our very own Terry and June. Steve and Sue. On Sunday.

“Smell me, go on.” It appears Steve has gone away ‘with the boys’ camping. “It was fab fun, darling.” Talks about the snoring of the lads he went with. Lots of fake laughing going on.

“If you want to text us,” (plays voiceover with text details.) “If you want to email us,” (plays voiceover with email details). “Have you missed me?,” he asks the woman that is presumably his actual, rather than just his radio, missus. “I missed you like a bad dose of … Oooh, that manly smell of camping.”

Long story about a fire alarm. Lots of IDs break it up for no reason. Please play me a tune. Oh good.

All Grown Up/The Crystals

“Then I emptied the Portaloo, all by myself,” is perhaps a less grown-up way to open a link, but that’s what Steve does. “Oh for god’s sake,” says Suzy, perhaps with the rest of us. It’s the back end of the link before, with no back-anno for the Crystals non-hit, which feels like an odd way to open a show. If by open, you mean follow a looooonnnng link and lots of confused audio devices with a tune only Crystals obsessives would remember. “I got it on video, and I’m very tempted, actually, exceptionally tempted, to put it up on, you know, YouTube. If ever you wanna know how to empty a Portaloo, I can do that now.”

SFX: News telegraph beeping.

“News Headlines,” mugs Steve.

SFX: News telegraph beeping.

“As they arrive …”

SFX: News telegraph beeping.

“Not arf, me old todder. Here she is. Herrrrre’s Suzy.”

SFX: News telegraph beeping.

“Some breaking news for our listeners in Ireland this morning, in case you’re thinking of going swimming. Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin Swimming Baths have announced they’re closing lanes seven and eight today.”

SFX: News telegraph beeping.

Steve laughs like this the funniest gag ever. Yes, really. So much so that Suzy repeats it.

“I see engineering have been in here. And I’m so pleased about that.”

“They’ve used all the ink in the biro. I’m trying to scribble things out. Look!” (because that works on the radio) “Production, can I have a biro that works, please.”

“Production said to me its that fader it runs off of, but it’s not.”

You mean there’s production here?!

It all goes quiet and Steve pretends to cry and snorts like a pig.

“So would you recommend it?,” asks Sue. “Camping?,” says Steve crashing his own ID.

ID: Radio’s very own George and Mildred, It’s Steve and Sue. (runs into a sitcom style bed, which runs out mid-link.)

He would recommend it, but “that woman who served us, how can I put this nicely, she was very upfront. I mean she was very nice, don’t get me wrong. But it’s just you know you turn – no, you wouldn’t know that unless you’re into women – but you know you turn and sort of someone’s come to serve you, and as I turned I went ‘Ooooh!’ You couldn’t help it really because it was a very outstanding woman. And that’s a nice way of putting it.”

“It’s your brother’s fault,” said Suzy, “He did go up to the bar and ask for a couple of large jugs of cider.”

Next, an anecdote about an electronic cigarette. I’ll spare you, but the punchline was ‘Menthol ones taste like a pair of soggy knickers.”

Suzy does a couple of ‘funny’ horoscopes. “Gemini, you’ll be shocked to the core to hear that a dwarf has been pick-pocketed. How anyone could stoop so low?” Then she moans about not finding a pen that works before getting into a private gag about ‘the rockabilly martian’ and Richard Ford who have apparently requested a song.

ID: What was the year?

“We’re doing what was the year this morning, darlings.”

ID What was the year?

He plays a montage of instrumental hooks. It’s well cut.

“OK, so the question being ..”

ID: What was the year?

“What was the year? You can text us.”

ID: Text Steve and Sue now on 07988 703 141

You can email us.”

ID: Email Steve and Sue now at studio@BigLRadio.co.uk

ID: Steve and Suzy, Big L, Miles of Music, Steve and Sue on Big L 1 and Big L 2

“Found a pen that works yet?

Another lame funny from an email mailout of ‘Idiot Alerts’.

ID: On Big L International, it’s Tinkerbell Suzy.

ID: You’re listening to Steve and Sue on Big L International. All round entertainment for adults and children of all ages.

Gerdundula/Status Quo.

SUMMARY

“Far-sighted advertisers are fast climbing on the Big L bandwagon because its booming boutique audience is mainly 35 plus, demographically ABC1, with sizeable disposable incomes and good levels of quality leisure time,” says Big L’s website. This boutique ABC1 audience on this occasion had the joy of an Irish gag, sniggers about the size of a woman’s breasts (tee hee), lavatorial discussion of a camping holiday and just two songs, neither of which were hits. Oh my mistake, The Crystals made #98 in the US Chart.

On the plus side, the What Was the Year? (such originality – see also use of Munsters theme as a talkover bed) was well produced, and they clearly have a chemistry about them. I am sure Steve and Sue (or Suzy, the branding seems to be in two minds) have their fans, in the way that some people probably even find The Wright Way funny. This guy seems to like them, for example. But to this pair of ears, Steve sounds like an amalgam of every presenter who tries a little too hard. Self-referential, under-selling the station, or the music. Waffly. Under-prepared.

And Sue? She sounds uncannily like Pat Coombs.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

Dee 106.3 (or ‘Dee on DAB’ as it’s now cleverly identing in splits on Muxco’s shiny new stick) has a newly expanded TSA. So how’s it sounding?

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

Mike James

WHO      Mike James

WHAT   Dee 106.3

WHEN   Monday 29 April 2013

1120

And we tune in mid-competition. “Where is the Queensferry Hotel? How much money needs to be raised to give Amelia-Mae the treatment she needs? What is the date of the big fun day?,” are the questions we need to answer, and “If you land on line 3 today, you’ll be our lucky winner, and we’ll do that next.”

ID: Mid Mornings with Clear Sky Travel.

ADS: Dee dating/bigmenonline.co.uk/Lindop Brothers Toyota/Wickes/Lampkin & Co

ID: Helping you through your workday, Mike James, Chester’s Dee 106.3

This is unusual. Talk off the break. Terry is the winner, but we don’t actually hear him. Gives answers and goes back to Becky ‘for more on Amelia Mae’s story’. Finishes with “Good luck with the fun day,” says Mike. “Chester the Cat is going to be there.”

1125

Said It All/Take That

ID: Live from the city of Chester, your station, Dee 106.3

Stay out/Nina Nesbitt

“I like that. Nina Nesbitt.”

BED: “The What’s On Guide, with the Floral Pavilion. Don’t miss The 39 Steps ..”

“Do you like murder mystery things? Cos there’s one going on – at the Floral Pavilion New Brighton.” Quelle surprise. Sleeping Beauty on Ice. At Venue Cymru. (In May?!) “The Duck Race is back,” says Mike. “Is it a year gone already?” This is another fund-raiser. “A charity duck race. And not real ducks – we should point that out,” says Mike, seemingly seriously. Gives the contact Peter Hobson and gives his number, duly repeating it twice. There’s a contact number at Dee if we want more information about the events. And Paloma Faith is next.

1135

ID: Mid Mornings sponsor tag

ADS: Sales on Dee 106.3/Stanton Fisher PPI/Cotswold Outdoor/Dublcheck Cleaning Franchises/Lookers Chester

ID: Your Station, Chester’s Dee 106.3

Upside Down/Paloma Faith

ID: Your Station. Dee 106.3

I count three fictional characters in this one.

SUMMARY

Well, this was reassuringly old-school. Guests talking about charity stuff in Mid Morning? Lucky line 3? Announcing web addresses with a “www” in front? Even their dating service only allows you to be a ‘Woman Seeking a Man’ or a ‘Man Seeking A Woman’. (I checked). Swap the songs for some Lou Bega and Boyzone and we’d be back in 1999.

With the massed ranks of Toby Anstis and Nick Snaith a couple of MHz away – and the lack of specific BBC Local competition in Chester, heart-warming charity plugs for ill children and local What’s Ons are a good USP for a late-era ILR needing to claw a space in the market. At 22% (38k weekly reach) it’s doing some of the best figures in its short life right now. Mike is warm and friendly but slightly distracted in this 20 minute listen. Even in such a short space of time, it would have been good to know a little more about him.

I know who Chester the Cat is, as I’ve seen the slightly bizarre pictures from the Muxco launch. But describing him as ‘Dee’s Mascot’ or something on the air may help new listeners (of which there are probably quite a few, now DAB is fired up) understand why you’re suddenly promoting the appearance of a cat at a fun day.

Branding is rightly very Chestery, although I was surprised to hear so little of the lovely TM branding on air. The spoken IDs are eminently forgettable. But not sure having a heart in your logo makes much sense any more, guys.

Pudsey, he ain’t.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

As one station quits Teesside, another gets two Sony nods – for breakfast show and station of the year.

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

Ali Brownlee

WHO Ali Brownlee

WHAT BBC Tees

WHEN Monday 15 April 2013

0705

“Morning! Ali Brownlee with you on BBC Tees Breakfast, Monday morning 15 April, Just after five minutes now past seven o’clock. Let’s bring you the local travel now, with Dave Llewellyn, Good Morning Dave.

4 strong local traffic stories, all from the Tees TSA.

ID into bed: BBC Tees Breakfast with Ali Brownlee

“Coming up on breakfast,” (clip of cockney woman on benefits story.) “Trials of a benefit cap start today. We’ll have more.”

ID out of bed: “If you’re taking about it, we’re talking about it. BBC Tees.”

“BBC Tees breakfast on a bright Monday morning.” Busks weather a bit.

Today our top story is “Reflections on celebrating the re-lighting of Redcar’s blast furnace.” This had been mothballed for a year but re-opened, “A year ago we were outside the entrance of SSI. What difference has it made to people who work there, who rely on steel, to the general feeling of pride where we live?”

Into a terrific montage over Florence and the Machine’s You Got The Love – including the commentary “when you come to Middlesbrough and you see that skyline, that blast furnace is a thing of beauty. As long as it pumps, there is life on Teesside.”

Ali cues into a clip of the plant’s Chief Exec recorded phono clip, who says the second recession caught the steel world by surprise. In re-lighting, they’ve had fewer technical issues and more economic ones than they expected.

“What we decided to do here on breakfast is spend some time at SSI, all arranged by John baker at SSI. Big, big, thanks to John.” There’s lovely bit where Ali talks about how his dad worked in steel and he used to visit the works as a kid.

Clip with two workers in the furnace control room. “Claudia Robinson came with me to the site.” Why not you Ali? This sounds like a research chat that made it to air, an interrogation, not a conversation.

But then Ali fronts the next stuff himself and it’s so much better. Real enthusiasm, free flowing chat and great visual description – which is mirrored by the interviewees.

“I spent much of Friday meeting meeting people who make furnace work. I had a brilliant time! Fathers and grandfathers working in the steel industry passing down skills. He asks a control room engineer, “of all the buttons in here, what’s the most important one?”

I learnt that metal comes out 1,510 degrees. Ali describes the smell of the sulphur, and his impression of “the ultimate November 5th,with a giant sparkler over here.”

It gets a bit flabby again when Ali solicits the inevitable “Your thoughts, your reaction, steel making 12 months on, your reflections,” but there’s a good throw to Social Media with pictures of the location posted to Facebook.

Heads: Cleveland Potash jobs/Redcar anniversary/masters. “More coming up at 7.30,” whatever that means.

Trail: Mark Forrest asks some earnest questions over some library music.

Then we’re into a slightly random dry old clips sequence about the pilot cap on benefits in London.

We hear Haringey council leader, Scottish widows, an academic and a vox of Londoners. Even Ali sounds bored.

Travel. A67 closed at High Coniscliffe due to a landslide and ‘will be forever and a day by the looks of it.’

Weather, a slightly out of context BBC Tees sport tonight verbal trail.

Then un-surnamed Sarah arrives for that time-honoured breakfast filler, the paper review, after a little observational stuff about the arrival of Spring and the daffodils on the A66.

SUMMARY

BBC LR loves its breakfast journeymen – the Warnetts, Cleggs and Murphys of this world have local credibility, warmth and, something uniquely bbclocalradio-ly. Ali is shaping up as one of these.

This show really comes alive when he’s lurking around the furnace like an excitable 12 year old on a school trip, with some lovely turns of phrase and a contagious enthusiasm for the subject. He made me interested in a steelworks at 7.10. Nice work.

Like much BBC LR, this breakfast menu comes with waffles. Look at the verbatim of the link off the news for example. If it was all a bit tighter, it would go beyond great to amazing. Warm and slick are not mutually exclusive.

We could argue whether anniversaries are real stories but hey, when it makes for content this good, who cares?

Odd to tease ahead to the least good part of the half hour (the benefits stuff) … and why bother trailing a needle waggling network show at 7pm? Surely the rest of the day is better worth promoting. The lacklustre station sound is doing nothing to help dramatise this great content, especially compared to the Music 4 stuff Tees had before.

But even from 20 minutes on an average-good day, you can spot the ingredients that meant this show is up for a Sony. And it’s a Geordie-free zone that drips localness. After the recent debate in this part of the world, that’s nice to hear.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

TFM’s been “new” a few times now. The spunky little ‘ninety-six sixty’ as was, that can be heard across a massive swathe of Northern England has often punched above its weight, before and after the acquisition by Metro. But now “Metro and Tees” are back together again, and even if the branding is cleverer nowadays, how are Steve and Karen doing on day two, as social media melts around them?

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO        Steve and Karen at Breakfast

WHAT     The New TFM

WHEN     Tuesday 9 April

0758 Drive By / Train

Steve back annos and lets us know, “it’s almost 8, Si has your news on the way soon.”

IDs: Steve and Karen with Middlesbrough College. “I am TFM”.

ADS: Connect Tees Valley buses/Electoral Commission/Cleveland Fire Brigade/Admiral Littlebox/Darlington College/Helmanis and Howell

IDS: Voxed punters. “Good music, all kinds of music, I love the North East. TFM.”

Steve does that late 90s Heart thing of ‘chatting into’ the top story.

NEWS: Teesside’s Measles outbreak (copy) / Thatcher (copy) / “Next, the all-too-familiar conversation between North East Mums and Dads .. Family Action says parents can’t afford birthday parties (clip). / Durham Police tell TFM about Leadgate power cut (copy). Ant and Dec up for a BAFTA (copy) and “a full list of BAFTA nominations will be on our website later on / Weather

“That is the latest for the North East, the greatest place on earth.”

TFMs continuous Traffic Watch with Atha & Co Solicitors, notably starts with Tees places.

Steve is back to throw forward “If you were at 1D last night, a song they covered brilliantly on the way..”

Beneath Your Beautiful/Labrinth ft Emili Sande (very dirgey mix for out of the 8)

ID: Steve and Karen – The New TFM

Stronger/Kelly Clarkson

“Thanks for listening and getting involved in the show today.” Recaps weather. Solicits texts on 63103 start with SK (for Steve and Karen).

Have you ever been to a wedding where animals were involved? “Not the bride with a dirty doggy,” says Karen. Eww. Steve doesn’t think this will get much reaction. “This will not happen in the North East, it’s from America or “Down South,” although he’s been to wedding where they released white doves.

Karen is going to Tory and Simon’s – “the second wedding of year”. Never been to one where pets involved, though. “Let we know,” says Steve. “This is a long shot, think we’re gonna struggle. Have a listen to this. 1D are playing the Arena. They were there last night and tonight. If you’re going you’ll hear them doing a great cover of this.”

Teenage Dirtbag/Wheatus

“Who wasn’t singing that at the top of their voice?,” they ask, and sing it. “If you’re off to see 1D they will do that and they are brilliant,” says Steve, not exactly convincing me.

Another solicit for pets at wedding.

Caller Claire talks about a wedding where her ex-guide dog labrador was her cousin’s ring bearer and had to wear a purple bow to match the brides dress. Was the dog in the wedding photos too?, she’s asked.

Texts: Not white doves it’s white homing pigeons, says anonymous texter.

ID: The new TFM continuous traffic watch: which leads on Stockton and Darlington before drifting North.

SUMMARY

We listened to Steve and Karen eight months ago, and loved them. Now they have their work cut out to make a great show work across two stations. That means you end up with strange links like the one between Wheatus and Kelly Clarkson with no presenter IDs or endorsement. There are little compromises like the SK tag on the text system and this strange ‘North East’ being talked about all the time.

The birthday party story feels a bit over-written from what was a national charity press release. Yawn. Effort clearly being made to lead news and traffic on Tees lines, and the talking into the news device gives Steve a chance to say the words TFM. The really effective and different “I am .. Metro” positioning, voiced by talent, stars and listeners has been ported across cleverly to TFM but I didn’t hear enough of this in these twenty minutes.

Certainly this was not as accomplished a 20 minutes as our (Metro) listen in July. Although caller Claire is OK, the ‘animals at weddings’ subject feels a bit oblique and not really tied to anything “today”. Forgive me if I’m imagining it, but even the presenters don’t “sound” as comfortable in their own skins as before.

Whatever the harsh realities, I guess what has surprised many of us in the last few days is the suddenness of the flip, and the fact it’s Bauer, in what feels like the first dismantling of their cherished ‘Place’ ideal.

So long, then, “old” TFM. This is a show during transition and under fire, if only from the massed ranks of Facebook (we on teesside want oOUR LOCAL radio station back – sic). No doubt in a couple of weeks, Steve and Karen will be back on form and, in a couple of months, as much loved in Crathorne as it they are in Cramlington.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

I love chillout music, despite the facts I’m not (a) a massage therapist, (b) living in Hoxton, or (c) a girl. I even used to present a show called Dreamtime, which was two hours of this stuff nightly. The queen of chill is clearly Claire Anderson, still doing the business on Jazz FM, which we’ll listen in to another time. It seemed, for a time, chill could gain momentum with .. Chill, a masterfully-programmed chill-out station on various DABs.

Then Global happened and chill kind of … froze. It’s still there on London 3’s melting-pot multiplex, and on the UK Radioplayer (nestled between Channel 103 and Choice. And, without irony, under 14 Capitals). But it’s vanished forever from Sky and the digital ears of places like Newport, Basingstoke and Telford.

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO Automated

WHAT chill

WHEN Tuesday 26 March, 1826

ID: There’s never been a better time or place to chill than helpmechill.com

La Ritournelle/Sebastien Tellier

ID: Time to chill.

Deep Believe/Buddha Bar

Mychael Danna/Pi’s Lullaby

ID: Chill

Pabadam/Yonderboi

Get Misunderstood/Troublemakers

SUMMARY

First, on Radioplayer, an aside. A screen of green grass and blue sky, with the clever chill ad. And an ad from refuge.co.uk: Learn more about the different ways abusive men exert control over their partner. Err, no thanks. I came here to chill.

Boyfriend beat you up?

Was surprised to hear so much foreign language in this combo of tunes. But of course, chill is about a feel, rather than a meaning. A glance at their last.fm page (the only place to find song info) shows the usual suspects like Air, Lamb, Zero 7 and royksopp as most played artists but with plenty of room for music discovery alongside. Frustrating then, that there’s not even a scarce voice-track to endorse and identify the songs.

The imaging is long overdue a refresh, and there was no commercial message in a twenty minute listen. There’s also very little going on online, or to its not-at-all shabby 46,000 Facebook fans. But the music was as on-brand as ever, and in a world of clutter, it just works.

It is sad then, that such a simple and well-defined offer has been left to ossify. This was a station clearly loved by its creators (and its small but loyal band of listeners). Sure, it’s still there. But that burst of activity around chill in 2006 is long gone.

With that era’s analogue applications, big name (in chill) presenters and even some RAJAR, it looked like just the kind of thing DAB was built for. Genuinely extending choice, with the potential to “do a Classic FM” on this amazingly broad genre.

After all, what better format for these post-austerity times?

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

So, to solve an argument between a friend and I about whether UTV’s Belfast station is called U103 or U105 (I know. Rock and roll. I was right, by the way), I went on their website tonight – where I came across the following amazing track information.

Now Playing: Fun Boy Three/It Ain’t What You Do, It’s the Way that you Do It

Next: Lemon Pipers/Green Tambourine

.. Both of which are clearly spicier than Geri Halliwell smothered in Vindaloo. Back to back. Is this a radio station confident enough in its ‘Where Great Music Lives’ position not to worry too much about how that ‘Great Music’ is actually scheduled? Sadly ‘Jerry’s Jukebox’ was off by the time I got home – but we Listened In to the following show.

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO      Ken Bruce .. no, not that one.

WHAT    The Wireless Set on U105

WHEN   19 March 2013

The OTHER Ken Bruce

2216

Shy Girl/Mark Wynter

Funny How Love Can Be/Ivy League

Back Anno. Ken is talking to a ‘Mr D’. “Can you play a Buddy Holly track especially for me?”, he asks.

Brown Eyed Handsome Man/Buddy Holly

(No link into) ADS: UTV Connect Broadband/Kennedy Centre ‘with Ireland’s largest Sainsburys’/Phone A Cab App

ID: 105.8FM (Ken Bruce – NJ Williams VO?) Where Great Music Lives U105

Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself A Letter/Billy Williams

(Maries the Name of) His Latest Flame/Elvis Presley

“That’s Elvis Presley, who on this day in 1957, bought Gracelands from Mrs Ruth Brown Moore. The things you learn on this programme.”

2229

Island of Dreams/Springfields

Hello Mary Lou/Ricky Nelson

DRY ID: The Wireless Set with Ken Bruce on U105

Picture of You/Joe Brown

“Joe Brown and the Bruvvers, THAT wonderful picture of you,” and a round of dedications over a nasty old bed. A bit of fader-wanking going on. But plenty of interest. Someone says they are still thawing out “after a weekend in Donegal”. Another woman said she’s tucked up with a hot water bottle and Ken. “Do you have a playlist for this show?”, asks a texter. “No”, says Ken, slightly wearily. “We don’t do playlists. They just come tumbling out of the box”. Mentions for Estelle, Liam. “Hope you’re keeping well.” Any chance of Bobby Darin says Marty? “Hope this one will fit the bill.”

Mack the Knife/Bobby Darin, plays for a bit. Drops out a lot.

“I think the sharks got Bobby Darin”, says Ken, somewhat obliquely. “I’ll try and find another CD with that track on it.”

ADS: Dynarod/Lifeline/NI Beef

ID: 105.8FM Where Great Music Lives U105

“OK take two with this one ..”

Mack the Knife/Bobby Darin

SUMMARY 

So that’s where old school ILR went. Belfast! A cursory glance at the schedule shows programme’s like Ken’s Country, Soulfood and ‘Not the Top 40’, all of which could have been signed off in Brompton Road in 1983. This Ken Bruce, though, is no pop master. In this 20 minutes, there was nothing from after 1964 but it’s clear from the levels of interaction that his loyal audience are lapping it up.

There’s an undeniable upward trend going on with this station, so maybe this is what Northern Ireland wants? A recent Radio Talk panel certainly seemed to suggest that commercial radio for grown-ups needed to be more quirk, less network to compete with the might of Radio 2.

Ken’s is a languid and unthreatening style. Every word was about the music or the listeners. Nothing about him. Or even the name of the radio station. Non sequiturs like the shark line, or the Elvis fact, are the kind of thing we used to do before we realised we were allowed to put our actual lives and personalities on the air. The ghost of X-Trax is clearly alive and well in a small dark room in Havelock House.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRADIO newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eradio

Kent looks like Hoth this morning, according to the telly. Snow is RAJAR viagra, if you believe a generation of BBC Local Radio editors. So how is Radio Kent rising to the challenge?

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHAT   Breakfast

WHO     John Warnett and Clare McDonnell, according to the schedule, but John appears to be solo.

WHEN   Tuesday 12 February 2013

Clare McDonnell and John Warnett. But no Clare on air.

0719

“Buses, there are far too many buses to individually list every line. If your bus operates from the Folkestone  or Dover depot, it’s not operating.” Repeats some info, adds those little phrases that spin out time without adding information.

ID: “Share your travel news.” Forgettable number. “BBC Radio Kent.” Lots of 1987-imaging wooshes. Nasty samples.

John reads a text from Heather in Maidstone, whose daughter’s been stuck on the A2 at Lyddon. Hasn’t moved since 1am. Only 19. Low on petrol. Keep up the good work. Tom’s been towing vehicles for 14 hours near the Roundhill Tunnel and has been abused by loads of people he’s trying to help. “This has been caused by drifting snow, accidents and incapable drivers,” reckons the texter. And Helen says she had a three hour wait for a train from Victoria to Maidstone. Says it’s sickening to hear South Eastern are doing a good job.

0721

Introduces, in quality, Paul Carter, leader of Kent County Council, who’s in Maidstone to talk about another story “but I thought we’d ask you about the road situation. I know your guys are out there working hard but a lot of people have not seen gritters, and they’re a bit annoyed, to be frank.” Carter explains difference between Highways Agency and county roads – and when he brings them up, John effortlessly crosses to woman from the Agency. “What’s gone wrong overnight?”

“They’ve been doing back to back salting runs, snowploughs are out ..” John interrupts. “Have you gritted the M20 past J11, because I looked at the camera earlier and it’s covered in snow”. Turns out some of the clear-up vehicles have themselves got stuck. This is good stuff around BBC Local Radio’s current mission to hold everyone to account.

0724

We’ll hold the papers review. But there is only one story – the Huhnes, says John before leading us into what I guess would have been the morning’s lead if it weren’t for the weather.

Vulnerable teenagers have been left destitute, due to row between Borders Agency and Kent CC. Paul Carter is back. This is a good local row about asylum seekers – about 900 are funded by the county as they go through process. The 20% who fail ALSO have to be looked after by the Kent, costing £2m a year. Why aren’t they being deported?, John asks the leader. But surely he should be asking the Home Office that?

Good story but goes on about two minutes too long. We hear from no young people involved. And John seems to have lost the statement from the UK Border Agency, who wouldn’t put anyone up. “We’ll bring it to you later.”

A pro pos of nothing, Paul Carter could do a passable impression of Barry Cryer if ever one was required.

0730

“Adam Dowling is here with the headlines, or the lowlines, or the bad bits of the travel news,” says John, having a senior slash Partridge moment. There’s another very, maybe understandably, long, travel bulletin.

0732

“The latest sport and weather in a moment, but first we’ll update the headlines in Kent this morning with Rose.”

Snow stuff: Highways and County criticised (Cheryl Baker phone clip). KCC and Highways reaction: “Clare Brooks told THIS PROGRAMME ..” into the clip. Copy on a coastguard rescue. Savile latest. Very clunky copy on the asylum seekers story. And an ‘and finally’ about a street closed to let toads migrate across a road. Includes the immortal line, “Every year 100 toads about the size of a teenager’s fist are killed by car.” John is a pedant assuring Rose that toads don’t hop they walk.

Good chat with reporter in Chatham who’s driven along there along the A2 from Faversham. ‘All that was near my home was a light dusting as though someone had gone over it with icing sugar.” Once you get to Medway “It’s like it’s own little microclimate.”

Dee texted in asking about the Bridgewood Roundabout. “I wouldn’t risk it that far” warns reporter Alex. Live to Kate Kinsella in the weather centre, who gives good forecast but uses those ridiculous Met Office warning terms ‘orange warning, which is slightly more severe than the normal yellow.’

SUMMARY

First the good stuff. In 20 minutes, we heard some good listener texts, two road clearing bosses (lightly) grilled about the state of the roads, a strong local story (if executed slightly obviously), and a well-read headline sequence.

The traffic and weather included what we needed to know, even if both slightly outstayed their welcome.

What didn’t we hear? ANY endorsement of the station by the team. It was ID-ed twice – each time at the end of the traffic ident. Not even into the 0730 heads.

If, indeed, an audience switches from Heart, or Radio 2 to something local and talky in times of crisis – and I’m not sure the evidence shows they do any more – then shouldn’t we use that opportunity to try and keep them? Where was the compelling tease line for mid morning? Or even a moment to remind people what they’ve tuned into? Or an elegant way to welcome people tuning in for the first time (without, of course, using any of those words.) It’s also one of those stations where no-one appears to have a surname, and the host expects us to know who he is without telling us.

Still, John’s a good turn, doing it a thousand years and still sounding engaged and largely in control. I’m still waiting for that Highways Agency statement though. But mercifully, no school closure list.

You can also read 2ZY Listened In as part of Radio Today’s eRadio newsletter every Wednesday. To subscribe, just go to radiotoday.co.uk/eRadio